Douglas' Final Count Down

Little did I know when I chose the title for this Blog that Douglas would soon be having his "Final Count Down" and that for me a very "Final Count Down" was imminent, the "Final Count Down" of my happy life with Douglas.

The lovely celebration we shared with Olive on the occasion of her 100th birthday was to be the last time that Douglas was to be with some of his very dear friends at Ashville Home and the start of his Final Count Down. I will always remember how very happy he was to be able to be there and to be able to greet all the dear friends that had supported him in the years that we had been in Downham Market and especially after his stroke. He loved the senior citizens and was blessed to be able to meet with them so regularly.

The next day he was blessed to be able to lead the monthly early morning Communion service at Downham Market and then during the time when he was leading the Cafe' style service in the evening at Downham Market he had his final episode.

What a shock for all of us that he should so suddenly fall into a coma and go into cardiac arrest. One minute he was alive and the next he was unconscious. The prompt response of the paramedic and his continuous efforts at CPR meant that Douglas was admitted to hospital  and placed on life support but at 3.00 am the following morning I was called back to the hospital because he had had another episode and I could see that his spirit had departed.

All the time I was supported by members of my church family and Brendon was able to be in London by 7.30 am so was with me when they finally declared that Douglas had passed away.

Douglas had wanted to be an organ donor so we made the necessary arrangements but because it was important to keep the heart beating, it was rather traumatic for us to know that he had died but to still see his chest moving.

God has been good and I was given the most unbelievable peace during the whole incident and also in the following days. Having the support of the church family and friends as well as our own immediate family also helped tremendously. I was overwhelmed by the grief I saw in the community and although I knew that Douglas was a special person having known him for 46 years, I had not realized how many lives he had touched and how many people loved him and grieved at this unexpected loss in our lives.

For Douglas, his passing was another blessing as he had no pain. He was not afraid and he was doing what he loved doing, worshiping his Lord. I give God the glory because he rewarded Douglas with a peaceful passing from this world into the next where he can now be with his Lord and rest knowing he had served God well.

For me, the days are filled with memories, all happy so I too am blessed. I miss Douglas very much as he was part of every aspect of my life. He was my husband, my friend and my pastor. He knew me well and always managed to direct me along the right path when I got emotional about situations. He always supported me even when he might not have wanted to do what I wanted to do. He took care of all my needs and when, after his stroke, I had to do more for him, then he insisted on taking on some of the everyday tasks that were mine so setting me free to be able to do what needed to be done.

He loved being able to take weddings

I doubt if I will ever be able to hang up the washing as well as he did, and my bread will never be as good as his bread. I will have to be reminded by the dishwasher manual when to add the rinse aid as I won't know when it is due to be added or even where I need to add it. I will more than likely find that my tea bags last longer because he always brought me tea so regularly and now I just go without unless someone else offers me some. The garbage bins will block the name of the close because he is not there to make sure that the sign is visible and so the list goes on and on.

I am so glad that I have so many photos of him even though looking at them makes me miss him more as I keep expecting to hear his laugh or feel his touch. I praise the Lord that I have no regrets and that He has freed me from the memory of Douglas' body on the floor at the church or on the bed in the ICU. Only as I now mention these situations do I see him there but otherwise I see him involved in all that he enjoyed doing and I have the picture in my mind of him waving to me as he got into Alan's car on his way to that final service. He was so happy to be on his way to lead another service.

He thanked God daily that even after his stroke he was able to participate in leading services of worship. He thanked me daily for being willing to help him do so. No regrets.

He loved the time we had in the UK and was sad that the time had come to an end and we were heading back to SA although he was excited to be seeing his girls, Evelyn, Vera, Rachel and Evangeline, and also Bradley and Henrik again. He was also happy that his sister, Jeanette, was due to visit us in May and that he had regular contact with his sister Susan on Skype and so accepted that going back to SA was what God wanted him to do.

He was a happy man. He enjoyed using his free Senior bus pass to travel to different places on his day off and of course loved all the train rides. He enjoyed all the walks in the area and loved visiting the villages. He loved modern technology and enjoyed his Kindle and iPad as well as his new smart phone. He watched television even when, after his stroke, he did not always understand what was happening because he knew I enjoyed the programmes.  He loved life and he loved people. He can never be replaced, he was a "one of the kind" person but I do see him in different members of the family who have inherited some of his personality, mannerisms and characteristics. So he has not totally left me and for this I also Praise God.